Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge

The Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge is an autonomous collective devoted to achieving human enlightenment through a wide variety of unusual means. They specialize in "profundity development, soul tightening and stellarization aids, and general arborealizing." They claim that "people of all ages, nationalities, and beliefs have come together to collectively benefit from what they have discovered."

History
According to a number of accounts, the Vanderstank Family began as a subcommunity in the hills of Holland, the Netherlands centered around the teachings and visions of a Dr. Triestananas Vanderstank in the 17th century.

Vanderstank Industries, Ltd.
In 2012, the Vanderstank community became incorporated as a genuine LLC (limited liability corporation) as Vanderstank Industries, Ltd. (often referred to as "The Company"). This period of "rebirth" in 2012, using ancient Vanderstank lore and older Church of Vanderstank teachings. Yes. Oh, no.

Some bad things happened during this time.

The Company closed on March 36, 2018 (referred to by some as April 5) after accusations of internal corruption, ties to the mistreatment of a former employee, and continued contact with a former business partner known as HazOBEO. These accusations are, of course, false.

Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge
After several months of silence, the Family rebranded in late 2018 as the Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge (VFUCK). The intent was to shed the moral ambiguity of our corporate past and renew focus on the teachings of the Church and the communal aspect of Family Living.